


to be wanted

by Murf1307



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alex Summers is an Enormous Bottom, Alex’s Terrible Self Esteem, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Dysfunctional Relationships, Fellatio, Kissing, Krakoan Sexual Ridiculousness, M/M, Polyamory, Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Logan, technical infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: Alex is lonely and mad about it.  Logan has an easy way to fix that, even though it complicates a lot of other things.
Relationships: Logan (X-Men)/Alex Summers
Kudos: 14





	to be wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Contains references to: Scott/Jean/Logan, Logan/Kurt, Logan/Ororo, Scott/Emma, and Jean/Ororo. Mutants on Krakoa are doing a lot of fucking; you cannot change my mind.
> 
> Also this is... _probably_ infidelity? Like, I’m pretty sure fucking your boyfriend’s brother (or your brother’s boyfriend) without discussing it first is probably cheating, no matter how open that relationship is. So, like, be advised of that before you proceed.

Logan raises an eyebrow as he takes in the expression on Alex's face. It's been about a month since Krakoa's entry into world politics (and seven since Krakoa began), and, for the most part, life is pretty damn good.

He's fallen into a rhythm. He teaches a little down at the Akademos Habitat, and he does what X-Force needs him to do; he's met Gabby and spent some time with her and Laura; and, at the end of the day, he goes home to Scott and Jean in a house on the fucking moon.

So Alex's protracted bad mood draws his attention. "You alright, Alex?"

Alex glares at him. "What does it look like?"

"I'd say 'no.' What's wrong?"

"Well, first of all, you died, and then Scott died, and then I got arrested and tortured by ONE for like nine months, and then Nate Grey threw basically everyone into an alternate dimension, so those of us left almost got totally fucked, and then suddenly Charles is back and I swear, I know you and I weren't exclusive or anything, but you've spent the last six months fucking my _brother_ , and I haven't gotten laid at all in, fuck? More than a year. So yeah, I guess I'm kinda fucked up about it all."

Well. That sure is something.

Logan takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. "So you're lonely?"

"...Yeah. No shit."

"C'mere." This is gonna be awkward to explain to Scott and Jean later, but Alex is standing in the kitchen like a raw nerve, and as much as things between him and Alex have never been more than casual, Logan doesn't want him to feel so alone.

Alex blinks, like he wasn't expecting Logan to care. 

But he comes over to the counter as Logan sets his coffee down. He's not quite as tall as Scott, but when he gets close enough, Logan still has to bare his throat to meet his eyes.

Logan reaches up and takes him by the scruff of his neck, fingers in the short hairs there. "Think you've got a problem I can fix."

"You sure?" Alex murmurs, and Logan can smell the interest on him, see the way his pupils dilate. Alex wants this, and shit, Logan does, too. It's been a while since last time, considering the circumstances.

The last time they'd hooked up, they'd both been Avengers, after all.

Logan pulls him down and kisses him in answer to his question. It's familiar, easy, and Logan remembers how it used to be neither.

Back then, Alex would come to him angry, and they'd both get some tension out by fucking somewhere risky. Alex, in those days, was hurting in a different way, and Logan hadn't really tried to help him in a way that worked.

Alex responds with a little inhale of surprise, and Logan remembers _that_ from the first time, down in Tijuana, the night before that road trip went to hell.

Logan isn't sure Alex has ever been with another man, besides him.

That thought strikes him now, as Alex boxes him against the kitchen counter and curls his hand in the back of Logan's t-shirt, leaning into the kiss. It twists something in his guts, and he wonders if he wants it to be true.

He presses a little closer, where he can, and runs his tongue along the seam of Alex's lips. Alex opens up, and the scrape of their tongues against each other inside Alex's mouth is electric. Logan wonders if that has to do with Alex's powers, but he's never asked and he never will. Instead, he nips at Alex's lower lip, tugging it with his teeth.

Alex gasps, just a little, and it's clear he's into it as they come up for air. "My room?" he asks.

Logan nods. "Yeah, your room."

Alex pulls back enough to pull Logan forward, across the living room, and there's something of a rush in that, Logan finds, an illicitness. A transgression.

What he has going on with Scott and Jean is a pretty open thing — Krakoa is Krakoa, and that means things like Scott heading down to the White Palace, or Jean finding Ororo in the jungle and coming back with sticks and leaves in her hair. And it's not like Logan hasn't spent the night with 'Ro, himself, or found his way into the Elf's bed.

But it feels a little different, doing this. This is Alex, Scott's _brother_ , and, well. 

Let's just say Logan knows what happened with Maddie Pryor.

And all of that mingles to put some adrenaline in his system, as Alex pulls him back toward his bedroom. Once they're inside, Logan presses Alex up against the wall next to the door and kisses him hard.

Alex lets out a soft moan and melts a little against him; another thing that reminds him of Tijuana.

They're both sober, this time. Alex has been through a lot more shit since then. They've fucked a couple dozen times. But Logan can't help but feel it, underneath, the thing that first pulled him in, that night in that border town. 

Alex _wants to be wanted._

And Logan, well, Logan just _wants._

"Logan," Alex mumbles against his mouth when they break for air. "Fuck, been too long."

Logan can smell his arousal, thick in the air like booze or sweat. It's sweet, in his nose, and he wants more. So he chases it into Alex's mouth again, dragging him down by the hips.

Alex moans, melting a little more. 

"How do you want it?" Logan asks, because that's the polite thing to do, at a time like this. 

Alex blinks down at him, like he hadn't expected the question. "Uh — shit. I hadn't really thought this far ahead. Kinda…"

_...thought you'd tell me to go fuck myself_ , he doesn't say, but it's clear that's what he thought. It's not _really_ a surprise that Alex would make that assumption, given the circumstances, but it pushes Logan a little in a way he's not sure he likes.

Because Alex deserves better than that. Especially here, especially now.

So he pulls Alex down for another kiss, his hand tight on the back of Alex's neck. "C'mere, come to bed, yeah?" He tugs Alex toward the bed. "Lemme take care of you."

Alex flushes, but follows Logan's lead, back toward the bed.

Logan slips his hands under Alex's shirt. Alex's skin is always hot, just-shy-of-feverish, and he's hotter now, with a want Logan knows well. He rucks Alex's shirt up. "C'mon, take it off for me."

Alex blinks, still blushing, and drags the shirt off over his head. He looks a little gobsmacked, still, and Logan intends to fuck the surprise right out of him — he's not going to stand by while Alex feels unwanted, not when he can fix it for a while. So he slides his hands up Alex's sides, charting skin and muscle and more than a few new scars.

Probably from ONE, or maybe before that, but Logan knows better than to ask. Instead, he moves his hands to Alex's chest, thumbs rubbing over Alex's nipples.

Alex gasps, and wow, it really has been a long damn time, if he's this sensitive, already gagging for it this much.

Logan's kind of surprised how into that he is.

But then, he's always liked taking pretty boys apart like this, so maybe Alex is just his type.

He ignores the fact that that doesn't quite feel like an explanation, and shifts to sink his teeth into the juncture between Alex's neck and shoulder.

Alex moans, shuddering a little under his teeth.

He's never left marks on Alex before, but he does now, bruising the flesh carefully. He wants to leave Alex a reminder.

"Y'gonna fuck me?" Alex asks, crowding closer, and Logan can feel his pulse jumping under his mouth. This is definitely getting to Alex, and Logan likes that a hell of a lot.

"If that's how you want it," he assures him. "Don't think I've fucked ya on a bed since that shitty motel in Tijuana."

Alex nods. "Yeah. You bent me over your bike once, though. That was hot."

It sure was. Logan had fucked him in the parking garage under the Avengers Tower, with just a pillar giving them cover. Alex had buried his teeth in the leather of Logan's jacket to muffle the noises he'd made, and while it's not _usually_ his thing, the risk of getting caught had been a rush.

"You like that shit, huh?" Logan smirks. "Almost gettin' caught made you come, if I remember right."

His hands are at Alex's belt; it won't be long now before he’s got Alex naked underneath him, making the same noises, and _shit_ , he’s kind of missed that. Alex has always been a good lay, when he could get away with it.

“Y-yeah,” Alex admits, biting his lip. “D’you think they got it on the surveillance cameras?”

“Probably,” Logan rumbles, undoing Alex’s belt. “Bet that _really_ does it for you, huh? The show you put on, panting, desperate for me to fuck you harder?” He undoes Alex’s fly, next. “You like being _seen_ , don’tcha?”

Alex nods. “Fuck, yeah, g-guess I do.”

He looks so pretty like this, and fuck, Logan’s really looking forward to getting inside him. “Good. I liked showin’ you off,” he growls. “Get on the bed.”

Alex nods again, stumbling back just a little before landing ass-first on the bed. 

God, he looks good all disheveled like that. 

“Shirt off,” Logan tells him, and Alex seems to scramble to do it. Jeez, he really likes getting ordered around, it looks like. He moves toward Alex, tipping Alex’s chin up when he’s in reach. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you’ll forget your own goddamn name, Alex, you got that?”

Alex moans, baring his throat just a little more, and fuck, yeah, Logan’s into that. 

He slides his hand back to the back of Alex’s neck and tugs him off the bed again. “Gotta get your pants off, too. Hate to ruin ‘em.”

“You don’t care about my pants,” Alex manages, breathlessly. 

“Fair point,” Logan concedes. “But I’m bein’ polite tonight.”

Alex shifts his pants — and underwear — down his legs, stepping out of them when he can. Logan gives him a long, hot once-over, again making note of Alex's new scars, and presses him back down onto the bed.

"Thank you," Alex breathes, and Logan pretends not to know what Alex is thanking him for.

Instead, he straddles Alex and kisses him hard, one hand buried in Alex's hair. He doesn't want to think about how Alex thinks people see him as second-best, as the lesser of two Summers brothers. He doesn't want Alex to be _grateful_ for his attention.

He just wants Alex to _want_ it.

Alex moans into his mouth, hips rolling up; Logan barely has the presence of mind to cant his own hips away, because his jeans _won't_ feel good against Alex's bare dick. "Careful, sweetheart," he murmurs, reaching down and stroking him lightly, before he registers what he just let fall out of his mouth.

Another moan, and then Alex manages to point out, a little shakily, "You can't fuck me w-with your pants on."

Logan nods. "Right, just gimme a second," he says, shrugging out of his flannel before he peels out of his t-shirt. He can feel Alex's eyes on him, and he smirks as he takes off his belt, then undoes the button on his fly. He drops the belt and shifts away a little, just because he wants to show off some, just for Alex.

He slides his pants and boxers down, his cock half-hard under Alex's hungry eyes alone. He smirks. "Like what ya see?"

"Yeah," Alex breathes. "Fuck, it's been a while."

Logan strokes himself a couple times, stepping out of his pants. “Y’gonna need some prep, then,” he points out. Alex likes it rough, but Logan knows he can be rough without actually _hurting_ him — that’s always sort of been the point.

Alex concedes, nodding. “Lube’s, uh, top drawer of the dresser.”

Logan moves over to the dresser and finds the lube and condoms right where Alex said they’d be. The box of condoms is unopened, but the lube bottle’s only about half full.

Jeez, Alex really hadn’t been kidding about not getting laid.

He moves back to the bed, and Alex shifts to give him space. The lights in the bedroom are on, but dim, and the shadows on his face make him look softer, somehow. Logan leans down and kisses him, pressing him flat to the bed, one hand sliding down his flank. 

Alex moans, shifting, spreading his legs so Logan can get between them. Neither of them says anything, something that isn’t quite tension growing in the air.

Logan smears his mouth down Alex’s jaw to mouth at the joint of his neck and shoulder, which pulls an achier moan from Alex. It’s clear what he wants, and Logan bites down, just a little. Just enough to leave a mark, and he's not sure how to feel about how bad he _does_ wanna leave that mark. It feels...territorial, in a way he doesn't usually let himself be, even with Alex.

He curls his hand around Alex's dick again, stroking him teasingly. He can feel how much Alex's gagging for it, can smell it in the air and on his skin. 

"Fuck, Logan," Alex says, hips arching off the bed. "Fucking _tease_."

Logan can't help but laugh at that, rumbling against Alex's neck. "Yeah, but you like it," he points out, grinning as he pulls back. "And you're gonna like this part, too."

He shifts back onto his haunches, between Alex's spread legs, keeping his eyes on Alex's face as he does. He curls his fist around Alex's dick again, stroking him a few times, just to hear him gasp and moan again.

Alex does, of course he does, and all Logan wants is to keep doing that, keep giving Alex reasons to make these noises. With his free hand, he lifts one of Alex's legs, spreading him even wider, so he can actually get at his hole without flipping him onto his belly. He wants to _see_ Alex's pleasure written on his face, and that means doing all of this face-to-face.

"You been fuckin' yourself?" he asks.

Alex nods, flushing deeply. "Yeah. I just — y'know."

"Sometimes, ya just need it, I know." He remembers all the times Alex wound up pinned under his weight because he _needed_ it hard.

That's not today, though. This, as much as maybe Logan doesn't wanna interrogate why, is something different.

He rubs his thumb over Alex's hole, pressing gently. It pulls another moan out of Alex, even though Logan hasn't even pressed anything inside him yet. "Yeah, looks like you need it, alright," he says.

When he pops the cap on the lube, Alex makes yet another noise. He's flushed up real pretty from his hairline down to his chest, and Logan smirks down at him as he slicks his fingers. He loves having the time, the space to just _enjoy_ having Alex; so many times before, it's been fast and quiet, more necessity than desire as he drove Alex into a wall or bent him over a car or his bike or a desk.

It's a hell of a lot easier, he muses, rubbing a slick finger over Alex's hole before pressing inward, to get away with this when they're living in the same damn house.

Alex moans, and his ass is tight around Logan's finger. It's gonna take a little time, no matter how many times Alex has gotten himself off with his own fingers, and besides — if Logan's right, Alex probably hasn't actually taken a dick in a couple of _years_.

Shit.

He can’t help but soften, just a little bit, and drops a kiss to the center of Alex’s chest, nosing there a little, even as he keeps working his finger deeper into him. 

Moaning, Alex drops a hand into Logan’s hair, almost petting him, and Logan makes a noise of his own, a low, pleased rumble; this is maybe becoming something it shouldn’t. But Logan doesn’t care -- Logan cares too much about making this good for Alex, about enjoying the way Alex opens up for him, unfurling and needing what Logan’s always been a little too willing to give him.

It hadn’t taken much, in Mexico, the first time, and it hadn’t taken much in New York, after Xavier died and Alex became an Avenger.

It never takes much, when Alex wants him.

Logan fingers Alex like that until he's loose enough to take another; the second finger makes Alex squirm, all _needy_ , in a way that Logan's always liked. 

He shifts downward, smearing more kisses down the plane of Alex's abs, into the crease of his pelvis; it brings his sideburns close enough to Alex's neglected cock that Alex whimpers again, his hand tightening in Logan's hair. Logan smirks against Alex's thigh, flicking his eyes up to try and glimpse Alex's face. The angle's all wrong for that, though, so he shifts over, wrapping his lips around the head of Alex's dick.

Alex cries out, and it makes something satisfied rumble in Logan’s guts as he takes more of Alex’s cock in his mouth. He likes doing this, always has, and especially in moments like this, when he’s working a partner open on his fingers, his mouth a distraction when the sting and the ache are almost too much.

“F-fuck, Logan, fuck,” Alex manages. “More?”

He sounds desperate, and that desperation tastes sweet. Logan rumbles low in his throat, and starts slipping a third finger into Alex. 

When Alex's hips lurch, it's only because Logan's kind of expecting it that he _doesn't_ gag on Alex's dick, instead pulling back a little, giving the underside of Alex's cock a little scrape of teeth as he goes, warning. 

Alex whimpers, thighs shuddering, and Logan presses his fingers deeper. He wonders if he’s about to make Alex cum right here, right now, and part of him hopes he does — he’s sure he can make Alex come a second time, fucking his brains out. And he _likes_ how soft Alex can get after coming, wants to see it again.

_Been too long,_ he can’t help but think, crooking his fingers and sucking him down again. 

A strangled shout and Alex’s fingers tightening even more in his hair are the only warnings he gets before Alex is coming down his throat, his ass pulsing hard around his fingers. Logan swallows, because he can, and because it pulls another groan out of Alex, and shit, Logan loves hearing those noises.

Alex goes a little limp, everything from his fingers to his dick starting to soften, and Logan slowly pulls off, stilling his fingers inside Alex.

“You need a minute?” he asks, grinning a little as he takes in how flushed and debauched Alex looks.

“Don’t you dare pull out,” Alex mumbles, squeezing around Logan’s fingers. 

Logan shifts a little, leans forward to catch Alex’s mouth with his own. It’s a stretch, given how much longer Alex’s torso is than his own, but he gets there, his free hand around the back of Alex’s neck.

Alex’s hand comes up to thread through his hair again, and Logan pulls him closer, up off the bed; he’s practically got Alex bent in half in this kiss, but when Alex moans, it’s all pleasure.

When they come up for air, they’ve got their combined weight mostly on Logan’s knees, and the curve of Alex’s back. Logan knows he’s gotta either pull his fingers out of Alex’s ass, or he’s got to let Alex drop back to the pillow, and he doesn’t really want to do either, so he asks, “You think you’re ready for my dick, now?”

Alex nods. “Yeah. Please.”

He nods, kisses him again, just for a moment, and lets Alex fall back against the mattress. With his newly free hand, gets a condom on, slicks himself with the lube and lines himself up before pulling his fingers out of Alex’s ass, so the head of his cock is ready and waiting, already pressed against his hole.

He’s got one of Alex’s legs over his shoulder, now, on autopilot, and he starts to slide into him.

Alex is hot and tight, hotter on the inside than any other man or woman Logan’s ever fucked up the ass, and Logan loves that feeling. He makes a noise approaching a growl and presses deeper, leaning to try and catch Alex’s lips again.

“Faster, please,” Alex begs, just before their mouths collide, and Logan shouldn’t, doesn’t want to hurt him, because he’s _so fucking tight_ and they haven’t had this in _so long_ —

He bottoms out anyway, with a smooth slide that pulls a broken groan out of Alex.

He’s got Alex bent in half again, Alex’s other leg wrapped around his waist, holding him closer. He tips their foreheads together, when he comes up from the kiss. “You alright, sweetheart?” he asks, not thinking, again, about the words coming out of his mouth.

Alex nods, his eyes slipping shut. Logan can smell something on him, something hurt and achy, and he doesn’t know what to do, how to fix it, so he just kisses him again, softer this time.

“Tell me when you want me to move, alright?” He strokes Alex’s cheek with the hand not occupied with holding him up, careful, not sure what else he can do for him. Because it’s clear from the tension in Alex’s jaw, the flutter of his eyelashes, that whatever this is, it’s not quite fixing the loneliness Alex feels.

Alex screws his eyes shut a little tighter. “I’m fine,” he says, answering the question Logan didn’t ask. “I’m fine.”

Logan kisses him again, a tightness in his own chest as he tries to figure out what made this whole situation turn on what, to him, feels like a dime. 

All he’d done is call Alex ‘sweetheart,’ after all.

And it’s true — all else aside, Logan _cares_ about the man underneath him, wants him to be happy, wants to be the cause of it where he can. Hell, this might be love, if they have the chance to let it grow.

“Y-y’gonna move, Logan?” Alex asks, when Logan comes up for air again. He sounds wrecked, but not from the sex, and Logan strokes his cheek again before settling that hand in Alex’s hair.

Then, he nods, rubbing his cheek against Alex’s. He’s never done _that_ before, either, with Alex, but he hopes that the nuzzling says what he can’t bring himself to put to words yet. He rolls his hips, just a little, just gently.

Alex is watching him, and his eyes catch and hold Logan’s, and shit, _this_ is what was wrong:

Alex still thinks he’s second-best.

It’s not true, of course it’s not — Logan wouldn’t be doing this, wouldn’t be pressing into him with this kind of gentleness, this kind of desire, if it was. It’s different from what Logan has with other people, but not lesser. Never that.

He kisses Alex again, holds him close, and finds a rhythm. Nothing too fast, too hard; he wants Alex to feel how focused on him he is.

It feels incredible for him, too, Alex still so hot and tight around his dick, the scent of salt and the lingering taste of Alex’s cum in the back of his throat. All of it is exactly the kind of thing that gets Logan’s motor running, and he hopes Alex can tell how bad he wants him, even though they’re not fucking like animals this time around.

Right now, though, all his focus is on Alex, on getting through to him what this is all about. Where Logan’s coming from when he fills him up, when he kisses him, when he, yeah, when he _needs_ him like he’s needing him now.

It’s a strain, holding himself back from snapping his hips into Alex, from giving into the instinct to take, to claim. But that’s not what Alex is gonna understand — that’s going to be more of the same-old, same-old, for them, and Logan knows, now, that that’s never going to be enough to make Alex see how much he’s wanted.

“Y-you can go faster,” Alex whispers. “I’m not — I’m not gonna _break_ , Lo.”

Logan shakes his head, thrusts a little deeper, but not faster. “I know, Alex. But I promised I’d give it to ya good, right?”

Alex makes a soft, punched-out noise, biting his own lip.

Logan noses in to lave it with tongue, soothing the bite as he kisses Alex again. “You doin’ alright?”

“Y-yeah,” Alex says, softly, swallowing. “What about you?”

“I’ve never wanted ya more than I do right now,” Logan says, honestly, hips hitching. “You’re so damn pretty, y’always are. Wanna feel you come again, on my cock this time.”

He’s losing himself a little, now that Alex has asked, and now that he’s said it out loud.

Alex moans. “I could — I could do that, for you,” he says. “But I don’t think — I don’t think I could do it untouched.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Logan murmurs, drawing his hand down Alex’s chest, his abs, to curl it around Alex’s cock again. “I’ve got you, I’ll make sure you come _real_ good.”

Alex whimpers, hips hitching between Logan’s fist and his cock, and Logan groans, too, this time, at the unexpected change in the friction. He strokes Alex to the rhythm of his own thrusts, straining his bracing shoulder to try and get his lips on Alex’s neck again, to bite him hard enough to bruise, a compromise he thinks Alex will understand the meaning of.

It’s not the hard, brutal pace they’re used to having, together, but it’s a concession to the same instinct in Logan to _claim_ , and he hopes Alex will recognize it for what it is.

“Fuck, Logan,” Alex manages, shuddering. “Close, I’m close. Gonna — for sure if you keep biting me like that.”

“You like it?” Logan asks, wanting to be sure. “‘Cause there’s plenty more where that came from.” He wants to leave marks. He wants Alex to _remember_ how much Logan wants him, and the marks will linger for days, weeks maybe, depending on how often Logan can bruise them in again after today.

Alex moans. “Please,” he asks, voice cracking. 

Logan _has_ to oblige him, then, biting and sucking at the skin at the join of Alex’s neck and shoulder, at the tendon where it starts to turn to muscle. He fucks into Alex a little harder, too, the angle changing due to how much he has to bend Alex in order to do it.

That’s what makes Alex come, this time, striping hot over Logan’s hand and their bellies, letting out a shocked gasp, eyes wide and staring at the ceiling.

His ass pulses around Logan’s cock, and it’s too much; Logan comes, too, hips snapping all the way forward, seating himself entirely inside Alex, groaning as he does. He nuzzles a slurred “Beautiful,” into the skin of Alex’s throat. “So damn beautiful.”

Alex makes a punched-out little noise above him. “You mean it?”

“Course I do,” Logan says. “Always have.”

He’s always thought Alex was hot as hell — none of this would’ve worked out if he hadn’t. But this isn’t quite about Alex’s looks; he just can’t help but think this is the _most_ beautiful Alex has ever been to him.

“Okay,” Alex says, softly, still a little shaky. “You still gonna mean it an hour from now?”

Logan nuzzles him, letting Alex’s leg fall from his shoulder. “Ask me in an hour, and I’ll mean it then, too.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?” Alex asks, softly. “You’ve… you’ve been back, like, eight months now. You never said you wanted to…”

It seems like an oversight now, that he hadn’t. “You didn’t either,” Logan points out, gently. “An’ I was dead for a good while. No idea what you wanted these days. If you were with anybody.”

Alex laughs, a rueful, sad sound. “Logan, I — I haven’t been with anybody since… since you.”

“Shit,” Logan murmurs, kissing the corner of Alex’s mouth. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

He feels like a dick, frankly, for coming back and not checking in, not even trying to see if Alex would be up for anything. 

Alex exhales. “And then you’ve started calling me that. Like… like it means something.” Alex is limp against the pillows, still tight around Logan’s cock. “But…”

“But?” Logan has, at least, the presence of mind to pull out, tying off the condom and tossing it without ever leaving Alex without his touch. He stretches out along his side, so he can look him in the face.

“I didn’t mean anything to you before,” Alex says, in a rush, before screwing his eyes shut and turning his face away from him. “So why should I now?”

Logan takes Alex’s chin in his fingertips and turns his face firmly back toward him. “You did. Mean somethin’.” He lays his cheek along Alex’s for a moment, savoring the scent of him. “But neither of us was in a good place before I died, and… I knew you were only after somethin’ casual.”

“Fuck,” Alex mumbles. “We’re… we’re really in it now, huh?”

They are, definitely. Logan knows Alex isn’t out to his family as bisexual, because it’s something Scott would’ve mentioned, and Logan gets the feeling that sneaking around with his boyfriend’s closeted brother isn’t going to go over well with said boyfriend. And the longer they manage to keep it a secret, the more pissed off Scott's gonna be when he finds out.

"Guess we are," he murmurs back wrapping an arm around Alex. He doesn't know what to do, but he wants to savor this, while he can get away with it.

Yeah, this could be love. He can trace the shape of it in his head, feel it spreading in his guts: he could love this man.

He might already, if he's reading himself right.

"I'll… I'll talk to Scott," Alex murmurs, and Logan can feel him starting to tense up. "I know I gotta, and, like… it's not like there's ever gonna be a better time. He's happy, with you an' Jean and Emma."

Logan swallows. Alex has been holding this in for at least seven years, if not longer.

That he wants to talk about it now, for this, for _them_ , it matters more than Logan really knows how to articulate. Alex wants him bad enough to give away his most closely-guarded secret, and Logan feels the weight of what that means settling on his shoulders.

If Alex thinks he's worth that, well, then he's gonna have to make it true.

He wants to, though. Wants to be good to Alex, wrapped around him like this. Wants to make Alex feel wanted, at least as often as he needs it, and more — as much as he _deserves._

"Okay," he says, softly, and kisses the corner of Alex's mouth. "D'you want me there?"

Alex flushes, shakes his head. "No. Too awkward."

"Figured. But I figured I'd ask anyhow."

“Thanks,” Alex murmurs, kissing Logan again. “I… I guess I’m tired of not getting what I want, when everyone else is.”

Logan nods, because he can understand that. “Makes sense.”

And somehow, what Alex wants is _him._ And not just the way they’ve had each other, in the past.

Alex turns, shifting to sling himself over Logan. It comes as kind of a surprise. Alex takes a breath. “And you… you really want me?”

Logan nods, reaches up, pulling Alex’s face down for a kiss. “I do.”

“Okay.” Alex sounds like it’s still kind of hard to believe, but he’s definitely trying to believe it. “Okay. Good. I just… I don’t know. Part of me thinks you’ve gotta just, I don’t know, pity me, or something.”

“It ain’t pity,” Logan says, firmly. “You don’t need my pity, and it ain’t never what I was trying to give ya.”

Alex nods, exhaling, and lets himself come to rest on top of Logan’s chest. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world — Alex’s weight hangs a little weird, given his torso is bigger, length-wise — but the pressure feels good, and for now, Logan wants anything Alex wants to give him, including this.

He wraps his arms around Alex. “Y’wanna stay like this, for a little while?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Alex says, softly, his cheek against Logan’s shoulder. “If that’s okay with you. You don’t — you don’t have anything you need to be doing?”

“Nope.” 

“Okay.”

After that, there isn’t really anything more they need to say, so they just lay there, in Alex’s bed, wrapped up in each other.

Krakoa, Logan’s starting to think, is really its own kind of heaven, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll get used to it someday. In the meantime, though, there’s a man he cares about draped on his chest, and the world feels warm and soft and quiet.

He doesn’t get to have things like this all that often, so he’s savoring it while he can. 

Alex’s breath starts to slow, to even out in sleep, and Logan smiles. Maybe this’ll all turn out alright, for once. He thinks they might be owed that, after everything.

Slowly, he starts to doze off, too, his arms gentle around Alex, his heart rate starting to match his sleeping one. As he falls asleep, all he can feel is the warmth of a life that, for once, is unfolding in a way that makes him happy, without reservation.

And that is a beautiful thing. To want, and be wanted, and to have.


End file.
